We hate our customers!
Customers. I just cannot stand them. Always waving their money around, wanting to give some of it to me. God, then they want to contact me to ask about purchases they might make. Fucking assholes.
In what appears to be 8 point font this site says:
Please contact us using the email@example.com email address.
Please allow up to 5 business days for an answer.
Business hours are 9AM - 5PM PST.
Forget FAQ, you’ll just have to wait up to five days you asshole customer.
We know we could just say “Email us” and have it link to the email, but we think that you’re so stupid and have a lot of time on your hands, so you’re just going to have to deal with parsing the over-explained “please use the email I’m about to say” line.
What’s that? You want the email to link? What the fuck is wrong with you people? Do you know how busy I am? You can’t take the time to highlight the email in 8pt font, open your email program and paste it into the to field?
You don’t deserve to give us money you needy bastard.
See, if it were just…off, or didn’t say anything…you’d think I would just kind of get it. But thanks for the graphically designed instruction to understanding your uselessness.
Credit: Robert J. Meyer
Your password is invalid, so here: let me take you away from that page so you can click and wait to go back again. I’ll clear out the username and password fields too for you.
“Really?” If you type over the length of one text message in Google Voice, the counter puts a 2.x in front of your remaining characters. Conveniently, Google will break up your long text into two. But go over 2 texts and Google has the right to be a little snarky. Love it!